The Beer Traveller

When Rick asked if I’d be interested to play poker with some of the local Rednecks, I jumped at the chance.  I enjoy a good game of Poker, but also knew it’d be some quality entertainment.  Jerry had converted a under utilized tool shed into a full fledged poker room.  This included being a good distance from the main house, full size refrigerator, utility sink, air conditioning (it is the South), full size poker table w/ leather wrist rests, & a computer to keep track of changing blinds.  There were eight of us & it was obvious these guys have done this once or twice.  They had the system down w/ the chips pre-counted, buy-in set, & pizza was already waiting when we arrived.  The good news was that for all this focus on poker, everybody was still laid back in regards to play.
Like any good poker game, you always have the characters; this included a couple guys from the mill, a retiree from the mill, a county worker, the pharmacist, a beer traveller, & of course Speedy the 400# tax man.  I bring up his rather large stature only to paint a better picture of his nickname.  I wouldn’t consider myself a bad poker player, but I didn’t win 1 hand in all of the 1st two games.  I finally came in 3rd place in the final game only to find out there’s no 3rd place payout in the final game.
For those players that lost their money early, there was always Corn-hole back behind the shed.  Corn-hole, I believe, is a southern invention that consists of throwing bean bags at a slightly sloped piece of plywood w/ a hole in it.  It seems like I may have played something similar as a kid, but it’s ‘slightly’ more exciting w/ several beers & trash talking.  The objective…yep, get it in the hole!  Two pts in & one pt. if it lands on the wood.  Pts cancel the opposing teams as their are 2 different colored beanbags in play.
The night ended with me having much much less money than I went with, but some good laughs & a new skill-set…corn-hole!

McGuire’s was a large Irish decorated pub/restaurant that seemed to go on forever.  Many different rooms that seemed to come from nowhere. It was a combination of mounted animals & twisted Irish humor…two of my favorite things.  I guess the other thing that should be mentioned is the $500,000 in cash that had been stapled throughout the establishment.   Rick & I both agreed that we were not the type of individuals to get off on having our hard earned cash stapled to the ceiling.  I’m not quite sure of the enjoyment folks get from this, but we appeared in the minority from the looks of things.  There’s a place in Portland, Kell’s, that does the same thing but they put a thumb tack through the dollar & catapult it into the 15 ft ceiling.  They also donate the money once a year. 
McGuire’s brews generally ranked above average & got better as they got darker.  Towards the bottom of the list were the Old Fashion Ale which I immediately called horse piss or bud light want-a-be.  McGuire’s called it “similar to but a step up from ordinary American factory beer”.  Guess I was under the impression that the point of a brewpub is to move away from that awful garbage.  The Irish Raspberry Wheat also ranked a low Drinkable.  On the other side of the spectrum were the Irish Cream Stout rating a respectable Likable & the seasonal Imperial Pale Ale coming out with an Exceptional. 
In regards to food, it doesn’t get much better.  Rick & myself split some potato skins; I’m not usually a fan as they tend to be pretty bland, but these were delicious.  The prime rib that I had was probably one of the best steaks I’ve ever had.  I actually cut myself off mid meal so as not to ruin the beef w/ an upset & bloated stomach. 
McGuires ranks high with both the critics & local magazines…I couldn’t agree more.

Gwen & Zach made the decision to get married @ a YMCA summer camp that Gwen was working at.  This was one of the most laid back & fun weddings I’ve been to.  The laid back part may have had something to do with the 90 degree heat & 95% humidity of an Alabama summer.  Kinda sucks the energy out of ya…well that & the hangovers.  Guests including myself started arriving Friday.  The wedding was planned for Saturday evening with guests free to stay throughout the entire weekend.
Most of the summer kids were gone for the weekend, but there was a few stragglers including some camp counselors.  A Christian summer camp for kids leads to an interesting dynamic when it comes to a wedding.  This occurred to me as the Christian parents arrived to pick their kids up Friday & glared @ my Beer Traveller garb.  I can only imagine what was going through their minds as they wondered if I was one of the counselors with whom they had left their kids with.
Lodging involved several reserved cabins w/ approx 16 bunk beds on each side.  There were 3 toilets & 3 showers in the center.  You do the math.  Toilets & showers were in the same room which provided excellent opportunities to meet your bunk mates, both male & female.
The wedding was held outside in a nicely wooded chapel w/ thunder rumbling in the background.  The climax (before the wedding night) was the tornado warning that blared   about 5 minutes post wedding.  The game plan was to hit a Mexican restaurant after the wedding for dinner (& drinks).  This plan was obviously postponed due to…well a tornado!  Unfortunately we missed the tornado, but the sheets of rain, lightening/thunder, high winds, & blown water toys did provide for some quality entertainment.  It also gave a reprieve from the ridiculous heat & humidity.  The wedding occurred @ about 6PM & we arrived at the restaurant around 9PM.  I’m sure I don’t need to go into the mood that we all were in.  I never thought a Margarita & chips/salsa could taste so good.  The dinner ended well with some imported Japanese sake (wedding gift that was shared with me) & tequila shots at midnight to celebrate the brides birthday.  It was than back to camp to sip Coors; that’s about all you can handle in the heat. Sunday was more recovery; this consisted of standing in waist deep pee temperature brown water while the sun zapped the alcohol out of ya.
It was a great (& interesting) group of people; a vast majority were highly educated w/ doctorates in Environmentally focused majors.  There were stories of buying escorts for dentists, smoking crystal meth, exotic foods & the aftermath, & chiggers in all the wrong places.  Local fare was delicious, including serious Bama BBQ, fried catfish, fried okra, & fried pickles.  Thanks Gwen & Zach for putting everything together & I wish you the very best in your new marriage.

I say dog house because dogs Duke & Duchess obviously run the roast.  Two beautiful goldens that get to do (& do) whatever they please. I grew up w/ Golden Retrievers & know how they can be, but these 2 are more than a handful.  This was quite evident as I received numerous tongues to the face, paws to the nuts, & had to retrieve my cell from between several sets of canines.  It should be pointed out that the phone was on top of the dining room table when it was retrieved without request. 
This was the first time I had met Murray’s belle Melissa & she contained all the charm & hospitality of a true southern lady.  I will say her energy level rivaled that of the jacked-up ADHD dogs.  OMGzie girl sent me more emails, checking on her bitches, while she was at work than I have received from all other emailers combined this summer.  The funny thing is after Melissa’s nightly sugar buzz, she would crash like a 3 yr-old who had spent the day at Disney. To the point where Murray would scream @ her head without so much of a flench on her part.  Murray is quite the opposite which helps balance the extreme energy of the other residents.
I greatly appreciate the meals, beer, & lodging.  I also want to thank Duke & Duchess for not completely castrating me.

Please take a moment to go back & read John’s wisdom (comment) for the Geekapolooza entry.

I had arrived at Murray’s house in Matthews, NC.  Originally I planned on hitting a brewpub in Charlotte before going to his house, but per usual I was running late.  After  doing a quick catching up & meeting both his new (not really but 1st time I met her) lady & their dogs, it was off to the Hops Grill & Brewery. 
Hops had a major franchise feel to it; this may have had to do with the fact that it is indeed just that.  The smoking didn’t help matters either.  I was happy to have been able to hit another brewpub, but this place was sub-par at best.  The sampler came out & was set in front of me in no particular order w/ no labeling. Usually I can differentiate pretty well between beers, but when they’re very close in color & flavors are bland it can be near impossible.  Luckily our waitress gave me another run-down of what was what.  Everything from the Clearwater Light to the Hammerhead Red to the Hops Pale Ale fell under Drinkable.  They only had two Likables out of the bunch, the Alligator Ale (mahogany porter) & the Fun Zen Bock. As for the Lightening Bold Gold, it tasted of vinegar & received the dreaded Undrinkable.  The food was decent, but nothing spectacular.  Luckily for me I had some great company.  Thanks for footing the bill Mister Murray.

At first I thought my GPS was fucking with me when it said to turn on to Lowes road & all I saw was a Lowes.  Than off to the side across the way was Carolina Brewery. It didn’t look like much & felt kind of diner-ish when I walked in the restaurant door.  The bartender was sitting inside the door reading the paper, but immediately snapped to attention the second I walked in.  I was even greeted w/ the quintessential “Hun” that is so commonly used in the South.  The bar provided a little more atmosphere than the restaurant, but still wasn’t worth writing home about (blogging’s a different story). 
They only had 6 Beers on tap, but I’ll take 6 great Beers over 12 okay ones any day of the week.  As I was working on my notes, a gentleman a few stools over inquired where I had been travelling.  Turns out Jim had actually spent several years in Bainbridge Island; close to my home base of Seattle.  We chatted for quite a while as he filled me in on the local scene.
My lunch soon arrived.  I figured BBQ would be a good bet & I was right.  I lived in AL for a summer & remember how much better BBQ was in the South vs. the North.  Doesn’t mean you guys won the war!  Served in typical NC fashion with a vinegar sauce & coleslaw on the actual pulled pork.  Excellent.  The fries matched the restaurant…diner-ish. 
Back to the Beers…did I mention they were excellent.  Both the Flagship IPA & Oatmeal Porter were Exceptional.  As for the other 4 Beers, they all ranked Likable.  Keep up the great work guys!

Due to my late start & bad timing leaving DC I arrived in Cary, NC a little later than anticipated.  Cary is the home base of some family friends.  John & Mary went to school  with my parents in upstate NY & I spent the summers w/ their kids growing up on the St. Lawrence river.  I was a little disappointed that Aly had already left to head up north for some time on the river.  Sister Maggie was supposed to meet up w/ me & her father, but she later flaked.  Something about working too hard…I really can’t relate!  Big John was nice enough to take me to a local pub even though it was 9PM & he had to work the next day.  It was a nice place & we had a good chat.  Thanks Mr. D for picking up the tab & providing me a cool place to sleep.

After almost running over a couple of cops & having some Beers @ lunch, I decided to do the tourist thing.  After a few wrong turns, I actually found a prime parking spot right off of the Capitol Mall & a short distance from the Capitol building. I grabbed the camera & was off like a prom dress.  Nothing more to say other than walking around for 3 hours on a 95 degree day.  Looking at a map, I didn’t think it was too far from the Capitol to the Lincoln Memorial…boy was I wrong. The day went pretty smoothly until I started meandering my way back to the car & noticed the tow trucks were out in force.  I was thinking just how screwed I’d be if I got back & had been towed.  Let’s see…all my shit for the entire summer & my cell phone were all in it.  I luckily got back to find the baby was still there, no ticket either.  I have no idea where I landed on the 3 hour time allotment as I have pretty much stopped keeping time since leaving on this adventure.  The one thing I did take note of was the fact that I have a limited amount of clothes, no way to do laundry, & was sweating like Nixon @ the Watergate trial.  Ahhhhh perfect, I had made it back to the car just in time to hit DC rush hour.  Idiot!

I only had limited time in DC as I was hoping to make it to Cary, NC for some free room & board.  I checked my usual source www.goodbeermaps.com for a list of local breweries, but for some reason this one map was not coming up.  Off to google & what pops up but Capitol City Brewing Company. What better place to hit than the first brew pub to open (1992) in our nations capitol after prohibition.  One of the only smart things the Gov’t has done; although it was preceded by the dumb-ass decision to outlaw alcohol in the 1st place.
The place was a little hard to find as they are actually located on the backside of what their address states.  Needless to say, if there is Beer…I will find it.  Kelly was lucky enough to be taking care of me as I ordered both a Blackend Ahi Tuna salad & Beer Sampler; not in that order.  I received more looks than usual as I started snapping photos & taking notes in this town of VIPS & extra security.  It was almost fun seeing how nervous I could make people.  Also noticed I was a lil’ underdressed for this establishment. My uniform of Beer Traveller shirt, shorts, & Birks stuck out like a Democrat @ a Ron Paul rally in this sea of suits. The Beers were better than expected considering the other crap that comes out of this city.  For the most part they were pretty average with the exception of the Extra Pale which received an Exceptional.  Unclear (like most things in DC) what makes it ‘extra’ since it had less hops & less bite than their regular Pale, Pale Rider Ale. Either way I’ll take a good Beer when I can.  The Capitol Kolsch was decent, but nothing special.  Fuel, the imperial coffee stout, was definitely strong (10% AWV), but somewhere lost the taste of both coffee & roasted malt.  The Hefe was very fruity & Likable.  ESB was all bite w/ no flavor, but the English Strong came back strong & balanced.

It was than off to do the tourist thing & Kelly was a dear in pointing me in the right (I was actually already there) direction.  Capitol City is a well done place with great food & decent brews.  They also have 2 other locations, one of which brews all their beer.