The Beer Traveller

After leaving the land of debauchery & beads, I was than off to see Steve, an old friend from college, up in Bastrop, LA.  Needless to say this was to be another unexciting drive.  With one exception…another run-in with the law.  I was on the home stretch to Steve’s house, which was on some open country roads.  As I saw the officer pulled way up to the side in typical speed trap position, I knew this might not be good.  When he pulled out (even w/o lights flashing) I was hoping he was using scare tactics or maybe just wanted his presence known.  Nope…he pulled me over. The lights came on & he quickly exited & requested I do the same.  In all my episodes of cops, they always request that you stay in the car.  For what ever reason he asked that I get out, but never even came up to my door.  When I got out & saw that the ticket book was already in his hand I knew this was not to be the warning that I was hoping for.  He asked why I was going so fast, but the fact that he was already completing the blanks told me that my answer was null & void.  The officer was polite, but it was obvious this county was in desperate need of some additional funds. 
Steve & his wife Elaine treated me like a king.  Dinner was already being prepared, my bed was set-up, & there were several cold ones awaiting my consumption.  Steve has a nice little “nano-brewery” set-up in his second garage.  There’s a stove, brew equipment, & fridge.  Steve currently has 2 varieties bottled & almost ready to drink.  A mexican beer called Cervaza (lil’ redundant) & Grampie’s Texas Blonde.  Although they supposedly still need some aging, we still managed to put a large dent in his supply.  Both beers objectively rank as a Likable.  Steve & i drank far into the night discussing mankind’s stupidity & fighting off the thickest mosquitos (worse than WI) that I have seen.  The thing about LA’s skeeters is that their black & move like ninjas.  I think the heat speeds them up.  Again…thank goodness for DEET.
Next morning found a home cooked breakfast for me.  I cranked out some more web work & than Steve offered to take me out to Lunch.  My request…BBQ of course.  Steve & Elaine also stocked me w/ paper products, drinks, & snacks.  Thank you very much for your wonderful hospitality & congratulations on the new grandchild.

Crescent City Brewhouse is the only microbrewery in the French Quarter. Dixie used to be here before Katrina wiped her out.  There’s also Gordon Biersch in New Orleans, but  I’m not a fan of chains.  The atmosphere was much different than what I had been experiencing down on Bourbon street.  It was very classy (& clean); there was a live Jazz band playing at the front of the house.
I decided to live it up since I was unsure of when I’d be back in New Orleans.  This meant ordering a Soft-shell Crab Capri for dinner.  This was deep fried soft-shell crab w/ artichoke bottoms, crawfish, & roasted red peppers, finished w/ a vermouth butter.  Unfortunately they had given me the lunch menu which presented a surprise when I actually received the bill.

In regarded to beer, they ranged in regards to quality.  Probably one of the most inconsistent breweries I’ve been to.  The Pilsner was Undrinkable  & this was reiterated when I read the restaurant description (I always try the beer 1st before reading their descriptions).  They stated “a taste familiar to those who prefer domestic beers”.  Next was the Red Stallion, w/ a Drinkable rating. Both the Black Forest (drk mahogany beer) & Weiss received a Likable.  The seasonal was a dark red lager called Satchmo.  It was hoppier & more flavorful than the Red Stallion; it was borderline Exceptional, but I’d probably give it a highly Likable.

I met two very nice couples; one from Michigan & one from Philadelphia.  The Philadelphians extended an invitation if I was ever back up in that area.  By this point I was pretty happy & the thought of finding a camping spot appealed about as much as licking a curb on Bourbon Street.  This was to be my 1st hotel stay of the entire trip.
Crescent’s beers appear to be hit or miss, but for a beer lover looking for a great meal, I would have no issues recommending this place.

I had very little intentions in New Orleans as I was limited on time & have really been focused on brewpubs. I believe it was Trip (from Abita) that recommended Jean Lafitte’s Blacksmith Shop Bar as a must stop.  Directions from a beer deliverer @ Abita helped me get there. 
Apparently Lafitte’s is rumored to be the oldest building east of the Mississippi river & the oldest operating bar in all of the US.  It’s a little off the beaten path, located way up on Bourbon street; it’s the last bar before a residential area.
Their beer selection was lacking, but it’s the character that set this place apart.  I enjoyed a Dixie Blackened Voodoo.  Dimly lit w/ candles & torches, it still has the nostalgia of what it once was.  Apparently back in the 1700’s it served as a legal front for a couple of pirate brothers. It’s survived two devastating fires & Katrina.
If you’re looking for something different than than the typical French Quarter scene & want a laid back atmosphere, this is your place.

First stop in Louisiana was Abita Brewing Company.  I recognized the name, but didn’t know exactly what they brewed. It was a neat little place that didn’t quite fit the area where it was located.  The interior was nicely decorated w/ talented murals.  A gift shop was off to the left & a bar slightly farther.  The bar had a flat screen sitting dead center behind it.  Further in were tables/eating area w/ another room off to the right, also for eating. This was the type of place I could easily sit myself down & drink for the remainder of the day. Unfortunately I was only here for some quick sampling & than had to keep going.
I forget what I ordered for lunch, but I remember it being decent.  The beer on the other hand was delicious.  The manager made her way over & introduced herself.  She was very nice & informed the bartender there would be no-charge for additional samples.
I rated the Amber & Golden as only Drinkable, but these tend not to be my favorite styles of beer.  Their Light had way too much flavor (i.e. it was good) for a light beer & was given a Likable.  The Turbodog (drk brown ale), Purple Haze (raspberry wheat), wheat (seasonal), Jockamo IPA, & Andy Gator (10% barley wine) were all very Likable.  The Restoration Pale Ale & Abita Select (German wit) were both Exceptional.
I decided to get a T-shirt as a gift for somebody from home & was rung up.  It was than that Trip, a gentleman I had been speaking with earlier, reached over & grabbed my bill.  He informed me that this would be his treat & he was a complete supporter.  Thanks Trip from Virginia (not that there’s a whole bunch of Trips). 
If you find yourself in New Orleans, this is worth the 50 minute drive north.  Take the opportunity to stop in for lunch & some quality brews before heading back down to party town.

I couldn’t pass up this brewery; not only was it on my way, but it would only leave me one short of hitting all the brewpubs in Alabama.  Actually not that big of an accomplishment considering there is only 5 of them.  It was a little later in the evening & I had been driving for quite some time.  I was looking for some quality brews & a full tummy. 
5 Points Grill was a little difficult to find…not because it was hidden, but more because there was just a boatload of other businesses all around (i.e. over stimulation).  That’s what happens when you spend hours driving on a highway with nothing to look at but the cars around you.
I parked & exited the car only to have a gentleman, who had been watching me, come up & ask for money.  This is just what I wanted to leave my truck & it’s expensive contents in this gentleman’s watchful eye.  I gave him one of my many homeless answers…”maybe when I come out”.  That usually keeps them from getting too pushy as they hope that will help them get money from me later.
5 Point was a nice establishment, but I believe a lot more could be done considering the  niceness of the building & location.  I’m a little confused on how they can classify themselves as a brewpub.  They only have 2 beers brewed in-house & they were out of them. I was beginning to think this was a worthless stop…oh, wait I did receive the full tummy (although the food could have been better).
The Brown ale that they brewed was almost pasty but decent; I gave it a Likable.  They were out of the Pale & I decided to try something new (although out of house).  The Sweetwater Summer Hummer (love the name!) was 2 sweet & 2 carbonated.  There were no nuances of beer flavor & overall it was watered down.  The good news is that they do carry several other beers, including ~16 in the bottle & ~10 on tap…they just aren’t a brewpub in my opinion.  It was time to go. 
As I walked to my car, guess who was waiting for me.  Like a typical white boy in a bad area I did my best to not make eye contact.  Than I heard “You said you’d give me some money when you left!”.  Shame for him not paying attention.  I stopped dead in my tracks, looked at him, & said “Wrong, I said I might give you some.”  Most of these guys are con-men to some degree & I love to beat them at their own game.  My recommendation…skip this one!

So we were so impressed with 5 Seasons Sandy Springs, we figured we would try their Alpharetta location for lunch.  The cool thing is that the two locations have different brewers & different beers. The uncool thing being my fond memories of the night before were now joined by nausea & headache.  Oh well, nothing cures a hangover like a meal, right?  Oh wait, I’m the Beer Traveller…that means I also have to try their beers.
Their second location was tastefully done, just like their original location.  We sat outside on their patio & I proceeded to order up another sampler.  Notice I used “I”.  Slackers (i.e. lucky fuckers) Gwen & Zach stuck w/ water.  We also ordered lunch, which was to be my saviour.  I had a pulled pork (got to love the south) sandwich.  I’ve never seen so much pig piled on a bun before, but it hit the spot.  The BBQ sauce was too spicy for my liking; luckily it was served on the side.
As for the beers, they were very well done, but did not compare to those at the Sandy Springs location. They did rate above average over all though.  The Golden Number Ale was a Drinkable due to it’s boring/bland flavor.  The Georgia Peach Honey, pms Smoked Molasses Porter, Shakti Saison, Sgt. Schultz’s Hefeweizen, & Hop Bomb IPA all received a Likable.
To top the afternoon off, a Bavarian band showed up.  When I say band, I mean about 10 instruments (incl. 2 trumpets, baritone, sax, clarinet, euphonium, drums, tuba, etc.), mostly brass.  Nothing like some Octoberfest to help w/ my hangover. Luckily I was done w/ the beers & the food helped considerably.  We stuck around a while & were quite impressed with their skills.
The Sandy Springs location would be my 1st choice, but this location still holds it’s own.

After numerous wrong turns & a call to verify location, we finally happened upon the 5 Seasons. It was tucked back behind a bunch of construction fences next to a Target that was still being built. Upon entry, the salt water aquarium was a good indication that we had finally found quality.  Inside was very well done; not quite as historical as some of the other establishments, but still containing lots of wood & exposed wooden beams.
As Gwen was already pretty saucey, Zach had to drive, & I still had to work (i.e. drink beer), we only ordered 1 sampler.
Gwen & zach also ordered some Rice Balls & edamame, both of which were delicious.  In regards to beer, this was the best in the city.  They also probably had more Exceptionals than any other brewery I’ve been to. Those falling into this ranking included the Big Blonde Hefeweizen, Big “O” English Strong Ale, Spiny Norman IPA, & Imperial Coffee Stout.  Both the Seven Sisters Munchner & West Mahl Tripple received a Likable, while Bob’s Knarly Barley Wine received a Drinkable but may have been an Undrinkable had it been earlier in the night.
We met a nice Italian guy at the table next to us. His wife & the couple they were with left 1/2 bottle of wine behind; Gwen quickly commandeered this as her own.  Glad she didn’t get her own beer b/c she polished off that wine like it was nobody’s business.
We made our way from the dining area to the bar area to watch Michael Phelp’s last race.  By this time I was pretty happy but needed an IPA to get me through the race.  After the race we were getting ready to leave when Dennis came up to question my beer drinking credentials.  Turns out he just wanted to share some back of the house brew.  Turns out Dennis as well as several of the other staff/patrons we met that night were all from the North.  Apparently this isn’t much of a surprise when it comes to Atlanta.
Between Dennis, Philip, & Shawn we learned a great many things.  These included the phrase “Bless your Heart” in the south really means “Go Fuck Yourself”; the definitions of Gorilla Mash, Superman Ho, & Donkey Punch; & the making of homemade budweiser.  The recipe for this is 60% lightest beer (think golden style) combined w/ 40% soda water.  Our resident bud drinker concurred that this indeed tasted like budweiser.  Appears that Annheuser-Busch is screwing 40% of beer drinkers.
Rachel, the writer, also soon joined us.  She too questioned my credentials, writing this time.  She wanted to give me a taste of what a true writer could do & proceeded to steal my notebook.  She than made her way to the ladies room where she was gone for some time.  After reading her entry, it was obvious what she had had a rough meal.
We than joined Dennis & crew in the ‘after hours’ room next door.  This is where we proceeded to move into that stage of what really happened.  It was time for us to go.
The way home consisted of me passing out, a stop @ Taco Bell for food that none of us needed, & a stop by the cops.  Gwen & I were actually smart enough to keep our mouths shut & Zach escaped yet another ticket.
If your looking for great food & better beer, than this is the place to go.  I want to extend a special thanks to Dennis & crew for your fabulous hospitality & Northern in-your-face humor.  Although it’s unneeded, I wish you the best of luck with the restaurants.

Park Tavern definitely takes the prize for prime location & prime atmosphere; it’s located  right on Piedmont Park overlooking the park with an outside patio & a two story facility inside. Our timing was perfect as we arrived shortly before sundown & enjoyed an outside table watching the sunset over the Atlanta skyline.  They apparently had one (maybe two) weddings going on inside & this will always up the entertainment factor. It’s also backs my earlier comment that this place has a prime atmosphere.  The hostess was delightful while the waitress gave the impression that it was time for her to go home.
Entertainment for the night included a 3rd wheel at the table behind ours.  We were there for over an hour & this guy’s mouth never quit.  He wasn’t just that he talked a lot, but it was a it about things nobody (including his tablemates) cared about.  There could also be argument made to the accuracy of his information.  Everything from killer dolphins to why Best Buy is the place to shop. When he started on the Olympics, I knew it was time to go.  I think it was his commentary on Michel Phelp’s hand position during his stroke that was my invitation for me to leave.
In regards to beer, this place can hardly consider themselves craft brewers; guess you can’t have everything.  It’s obvious that their beer is not their money maker & not a priority for them…almost an afterthought.  They only had three on tap & I gave them all a Drinkable.  Druid Hills Pilsner, Park Trail Pale Ale, & Olmsted Amber all tasted watered down & flavorless.  If you guys don’t want to brew beer than don’t; half-assing is a waste for everybody!
If you’re looking for a nice people watching spot on a gorgeous day, than this is your place.  Just don’t go for their beer.

Max Lager’s was located right in the heart of downtown Atlanta, right off one of the 55 Peachtree streets. I say this because anyone who has ever been to Atlanta soon realizes that every other street in this city is named Peachtree something or other.
Max’s is uneventful from the outside, but the interior is that of a historic building with lots of character & sparse decoration.  Sometimes the building will speak for itself.  Both the hostess & waitress were very friendly & wiling to meet our needs.  It appeared that the establishment was doing quite well as they had several freshly installed fermentation vessels upstairs. The mash tun & brew kettle were downstairs.
Gwen & myself both ordered one of their beer samplers while Zach got a Max Black.  Food wise I got one of their well-known brick oven pizzas.  With the exception of them giving me chicken instead of artichokes, the pizza was delicious.
As for the brews, they overall ranked a little above average.  The Hefeweizen was at the bottom of the list, with a Drinkable, b/c it didn’t taste like a Hefe & it did taste a little skunky.  Max Red was also down there due to too mild of a flavor.  Everything else including the German Kolsch, Max Pils, & Max Black all received a Likable. The Max APA (American Pale Ale) may have received an Exceptional on a different day, but I rated a very Likable.
If you’re in Atlanta looking for some quality pie & a cold one, than this just might be your spot!

I arrived in Auburn a little after lunch expecting the Ale House to be open…my bad, they don’t open till 3:30PM.  Guess I was just going to have to get myself a cold drink & watch the southern college belles.  It appeared that school was starting soon & the kids were moving in & walking the town w/ their parents. 
A little note to those thinking of stopping by, the establishment is not actually located on the street of the address.  You have to go around back to a parking lot to gain entry.  It’s a little tricky, but if I can figure it out…you surely can.
The building itself is nice as most brewpubs in AL are.  You see some of the stipulations of their wonderful government is that a brewpub must be in a building on the National Register of Historic Places & in a county where beer was legally brewed prior to Prohibition. Where the hell do they come up with this shit?
The building itself was brick & decorated w/ both a Union Jack & an Auburn University flag.  It, like the last place, also had signage of a macro (i.e. crap) brew nature.  The beer too was similar to the last place.  catch Her in the Rye, Plainsman IPA, & Peachy Wheat all received a Drinkable.  Full Monty Stout, Hop Dragon, & Tiger Tail were a step up receiving a Likable. 
My recommendation is to stick w/ Hurricane Brewing if your looking for great beer in the Great State of Alabama!